Germany and Fem Italy having fun
by Desaparecer
Summary: Germany and Italy are just... being random. All people being random; Prussia, Romano, User (the person who wrote this), Japan... even Austria. This is a stupid story, but... I hope is a bit funny or whatever. So, this romance will ship? Or what's happening? (The version in spanish is submitted)


What would happen if Italy has been a woman?

Well, here it is, a bullshit-fanfic telling a… "story"… *cof cof* Don't kill me, please :D

User- Well, hello everyone~. Here is the narrator… THE AWESOME PRUSSIAAAAA…! WAIT, WTF IS THIS? WAIT A SEC-…

Prussia- KESESESE, OBVIOUSLY I AM THE NARRATOR, BECAUSE I'M FAAAAAAABOLOUS (not in the gay way well… in some fanfic of yaoi… sorry, I mean, I'll shut up) WHO IS GONNA TELL THIS NOT AS AWESOME AS ME STORY, so, I'm gonna start from the beginning…

User- YOU, PRUSSIA BASTARD, YOU HAVE CROSSED OUT THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL NARRATOR AND PUTTED YOURS! It notice a lot your letter, you idiot.

Prussia- Bah, don't worry, whatever. I'm gonna tell it better than that fool narrator, so I'm going to start:

"Suddenly, Germany found a wood box at the centre of his way, he opened it and he saw that hot Italian, sleeping taking a siesta but she was tied. Of course, by the way, to mi brother who likes a lot sadoma-…"

Germany- PRUUUUUUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!? STUPID BROTHER, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING!? IT'S OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL A STORY OR WHATEVER.

Prussia- Come on, don't lie, YOU said when we were a bit drunk that Italy's ass was always turning you on…

*Germany immediately blushes and thinks' about the image of the Italian's butt… and he gets a nosebleed*

Germany- I'm… I'm gonna kill you some day… *still as red as a tomato*.

Alemania- Se-serás… *sigue rojo como un tomate*.

User-… hello… I'm still here… and I was going to tell the story…

Prussia * Disregarding User –so mean…-* - WELL, KESESESE, I will continue… the case is that Germany and Italy had a lot of fun that night and…

*Prussia right now is flying through the sky because Germany shoot him in the face a FULCON PUNCH*

User- Can I tell now the story?

*Germany agrees and he leaves*.

User- Uff… well, finally, I could tell this story in peace…

-Secuency-

Germany was supposed to be fighting with the offspring of Roman Empire, at IWW, but he didn't see anybody there.

When he thought that all of that was goodness tactic or a dream, he saw in the way a wood box. There was written on the top "tomatoes".

Germany, confused, touched the box with his stick. He startled of the crying inside de box. Would it be a tactic of defense or attack…?

Germany realized that inside the bow there was somebody, so he tried to open the box, not even that "crying person" begged to not open the box. When Germany opened the box, he saw the prettiest and hotter woman he could have seen, in military uniform and hairstyle with ponytail. Immediately, the woman begged piety and…

Prussia (he came back from the fly) - COME OOOOOOOOOOON, ALL ALREADY KNOW THAT, AT CHAPTER 2.

User- HEY, YOU HAVE RUINED RIGHT NOW THE SERIOUSNESS FROM HERE, YOU BASTARD!

Prussia- Don't worry, my dear. I will resume it: It was the same about the chapter, but when Italy screamed: "I WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT DON'T SHOOT ME PLEAAAAAAAAASE". She screamed SOOOOOOOO loud, so France heard it and… well… he imagined perverted things… you know? EA, THAT IS

User- Prussia… the stories can't be told like that…

Prussia- IF THE AWESOME ME SAYS SO, THE STORY WILL BE AWESOME. KESESESE…

User- Do you want me to tell in this fanfic how Hungary laugh in front of you seeing how your "awesome" five meters didn't work one night in the shower…?

*Prussia is in panic and he goes to a corner*- Hun…Hungary is so mean…

Italy- Ve~… Hi, narrator! Wait… you aren't narrator… the narrator was Austria, what happened? What are you doing in his spot? Ve~, something bad happened? Is he sick? Is he in the hospital? WAAAAAAH VE~ THAT'S HORRIBLE *starts crying* At least I could give him delicious pasta for him to recovers soon…

User- Italia, relax, take it easy. He will probably be at this moment in his house playing the piano. The stuff is that the fool of your brother in law (cuñado in Spanish… sorry, I don't know if this is how it is…) wanted to tell the story and he named as himself as the narrator. That's all.

Italy- Ah… ve~, and why he doesn't report?

User- Because…

Prussia- USER IS A BITTER WHO REPORT THE NON-AWESOME, SHE GETS CONFUSED AND DON'T SAY THE SEXUAL POINTS.

User- BUT, DIDN'T ARE YOU IN THE CORNER, MOTHER FUCKER ALBINO…!?

Italy- Oh, ve~ that's not a problem at all. I can say the sexual points. For example, when Germany the other day came from I-don't-know-where-the-fuck-was-he and I didin't see him for so long, so I was only dressed up with a Germany's large training shirt. When he saw me, he turned on, we did it on the couch, the shower, the table, the bed, and…

User *fastly, she puts her hand on Veneciana's mouth*- ITALY, SHUT UP. GERMANY COULD HEAR YOU AND HERE IT WOULD RAISE THE CAINE.

Prussia- If Italy's want, she could continue… *he moved his brows up and down*… hey, Ita-chan, Can you talk with Hungary for asking MOAR sex for me…? You know, I'm a man and I have needs…

Italy- VE~!? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHY ME?

Prussia- You know, you are a woman, between women you understand and… -Prussia stared and watched the Italian neckline- *cof cof* a pretty one *cof cof* and that… you could give advices to Hungary of sex, you said that Lud and you, you are doing it constantly and… *he can't stop watching Italian's boobies*…

Germany *pretty red faced* - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING!? And Prussia… what… are… you… seeing…brother? *now he looks scary* (He murmurs: HER BOOBS ARE MINE, BRODAH)

User- Yep, there's going to be PARTY HARD *sarcasm*… WHERE THE HELL IS KIKU'S CAMERA WHEN I NEED IT!?

Japan * instantly*- Here you are~ *he lets his camera to user*

Germany- Prussia… if you are annoying Italia… * raises his fist menacingly*

Prussia *a bit nervous*- Kesesese, of course not! I wasn't annoying your girlfriend, bruder!

Italy- It's fine, take it easy Lud~ *kiss him in his cheek* he only asked me of our sex life… I was going to say him that we do it every day and almost, always, who wants sex is me. AH, and about the sadomasochism, the costumes, the sets, the position you puts…

- (NOTE DE USER: I'm feeling weird writting this, sorry about the annoying notes O.O) -

Germany looked like he was going to explode, so he shuts another FALCON PUNCH to Prussia.

Germany- ITALY, THAT STUFF IS PRIVATE!

Italy *a bit scared*- Ve~… sorry…

Ludwig hugs her and murmurs to her ear, "Pardon honey, not mean to scare you ... just saying that these things better between us." And they started kissing.

User- Wow, this is getting hot.

*Japan agrees*.

They were like that almost 10 minutes, but Germany realized that me (User) and Japan, we were recording all the stuff… and eating popcorn. He was going to blush as a tomato like hell-dander, but Japan and User run away, because the battery of the camera was empty… and "DAT GERMAN FACE". We went to Japan's home for passing all the video from the camera to a pendrive.

"Je… I'm going to sell this to France and Hungary for high prize…"- murmured Japan… When he wanted, he could be a naughty man.

*User gets in a bush for relating all the things around*

Germany and Italy thought they were alone (COF COF someone in a bush COF COF) so… in Sunday at that place… nobody the whole day…

Italy looked with saucy-eyes to Germany. He knew what it means. They started to kiss passionately. They bodies came closer to each other.

Germany murmured "I love you" at the italian's ear and less than 5 minutes, Germany's neck was full of hickeys-(WTF, REALLY AM I WRITING THIS!?). The couple was without clothes, on the table of that room. Germany couldn't suppress and he pulled Italy's curly hair.

She bleated and went immediately… err… "hands on working" Please, note that this expression is literal (If you know what I mean)

And, so one and so far, User watching the entire scene from a bush at the room (WTF IS DOING A BUSH IN THE FREAKING ROOM!?) Japan now is with User. Now, the battery is full and he started to record again.

But, suddenly, the door opened wide and the man who opened the door yelled.

Well… a yell…

…

It was like: "CHIGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Romano caught red-handed her sister in that bastard-potato-sucker's arms… and THEY WERE NAKED. THAT TWO. NAKED.

Romano_ What… the crapola… happened here…

Obviously, Romano knows about the relationship of Italy with Germany, but only seeing "that stupid blond haired man with blue eyes" walking on the street, Romano unnerved him. So, let the imagination fly, dear reader, to see HOW MUCH angry was Romano at that moment. (YEAH, I KNOW. FUCKING HILAROUS. –I think I'm a bit high sometimes…-)

Japan and User were eating popcorns, enjoying the scene, as the most interesting part of a movie. (Exactly, nobody noticed there was a bush in the middle of the room. Bravo)

Romano started to walk slowly to the couple.

Italy- Ludwig, honey, listen to me...

Germany * quite scared, which has never been seen *- Ja, t-tell me…

Italy- RUN IF YOU LOVE YOUR FUCKING VE ~ LIFE!

Then, everything happened very fast.

Romano, when he heared that, accelerated as a cheetah and he ran to Germany. Germany jumped above the table, putting his clothes (a boxer) on –it was a bit… difficult- and he ran to the window, which one he broke, as an American movie (if you are American, don't care, it's not an insult or whatever). Romano jumped as the style of Matrix above the bush, in which Japan was opening another pack of popcorn. He run among the table, treading a lot of papers, which they were tidied up, and thanks to the storm called "unidentified running object who yells: POTATO BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!" now, all the papers were… bullshit?

Germany got lost from view among the trees and Romano jumped through the same window which Germany jumped (YEAH, MATRIX STYLE FOR THE WIN) and he looked for him.

At the room, was only Ita-chan, putting her clothes on saying "ve~" foolishly and User finishing her popcorns.

The room was in silence and Kiku went again for recharging his camera. Such an awkard silence, User decided to break it.

User- Italy… what would happened if you were a boy?

Italy- No I don't know… I'm sure I would be gay or the best friend of Lud~… Why do you ask that weird question? Ve~?

User- I think that the two options are… funny. Being man or a woman… maybe in a parallel universe you are a man, who knows.

Italy- Ve?! That would be so freaking weird… don't say things like that! You scare me a little… ONLY A LITTLE D: (she get nervous)

And, CHAN CHAN CHAAAAAAN, when we thought "of course, once everything calmed and peace reign" Prussia got in the room, breaking all of it in the awkwardness way.

Prussia- KESESESE, SO, YOU ARE KIND OF HORRIBLE WRITING, EH!?

User- Fuck you, I'm kind of terrifying, I know, but I love imaginate stories and… WELL, I DO IT BECAUSE I LIKE TO DO IT. THAT'S ENOUGH *cries in a corner*

Prussia- Kesesese, but you entered at the begging of the fanfic saying whatever of what would happened if Italy were a woman… BUT THE STUFF IS THAT NOW SHE'S ACTUALLY A WOMAN, YOU FOOL!

User- Leave it… I understand myself. I don't know if the reader will understand but, whatever….

Italia- Ve~… What are you talking about…?

User- Jo… I want to finish this fanfic but I don't know how… Germany is running away from Romano, Prussia is now here acting as a fool, Italy don't know what is happening, Japan has gone with the recordings, I don't have more popcorns… THE LIFE IS SO HAAAAAAARD! *cries again in a corner*.

Austria- …Now it's starting to rave…

User- AUSTRIA, MI SALVATION! Tell me, how could I finish this fanfic?

Austria-… *he moves away and starts to play the piano* LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN~FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOOOOWN~… -Yes, he also starts to sing… such a weird guy-.

Prussia- Kesesese… COWARD! HEY, I HAVE AN AMAZING IDEA! Narrate a story. A STORY AS AWESOME AS ME.

User- Well, it's not a bad idea, let's try it:

"One day, Turkey (yes, Turkey, is random, DEAL WITH, MOTHERFUCKERS) invented a machine (YAHOOOO~ NOW HE IS A FUCKING ENGENEER… I should shut up…) Turkey didn't know what he invented, he only knew that the machine causes weird effects in a person. When he was going to try on Gilbird and Pierre (poor little birds…) and he was going to make it work, Russia and Belarus passed through there; Russia was running away from Belarus begging him to marry her. When the machine caused effect on Russia, suddenly, he said to her: BE ONE WITH MOTHER RUSSIA, DA? And Belarus started to run away from him. CHAN CHAN CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN".

All people in the room- W-what… (Including Germany and Romano, whose come back from the battle and now they were in a period of peace)

Prussia- WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEECK IS THAT MAAAAAAAAAAN!? HOLY SHIT.

Italy- Ve~ … I don't understand… Why Turkey is…?

Germany- She made that story absolutely random. Stupid frog, User.

User- YEAH, OKAY, I MADE THE WHOLE FANFIC RANDOM AND THE STORY. SO, THE ONE WHO LEADS THIS FANFIC IS ME, NOW, I TRANSFORM ALL OF YOU IN FISHES. FISHES IN A BATH. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, LOSERS.

So, now, they are fishes and they are living at England's bath.

England- W-why? …Why me? I don't… understand…

Yep, that was random too.

Sorry if your eyes are bleeding of reading this crap. So sorry.

If you post a review, I will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy :D

*Runs away doing the kibble*


End file.
